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Why Can't We Ever Get Anything Done There?
- We Have a "Super Majority"
...Or Do We? -
The Story Below Is a ....cough...Fairy Tale....cough....

(No Imaginary Creatures Were Harmed in the Telling....)

Jeff City

Explained as A Fairy Tale definitely not for children....

There once was a Creature whose ambitions knew no limits. Her name was Merry Elsbeth Coldwoman (MEC). She looked human, but she was actually a Raging Rino, evil, powerful sorcerers from a planet called Never-Ever Land (third star to the right and crooked path 'till moaning). In Never-Ever Land, even more powerful hunchbacked goblins, called Lob-E-Yusts, controlled the Rinos, and so they never, ever passed good laws for the People, but they did have terrific parking spaces, which they valued above all else. MEC was a Pretty Important Tier A  Rino (a PITA), and because of this status, she and fellow PITA Rinos were sent to the Kingdom of Missouri on a far away planet known as Trumplandia, to create mischief in a Ward called The State Legislature. There they used Rino Rubles to purchase a Castle known as The Senate. This is the story of how Merry and her fellow Rinos tried to use their Evil Powers to hurt the People of Missouri, and the Fighting Champions (FC) who fought to save the People from these evil demons.

Our story opens when the People, having discovered the truth about the Raging Rinos, asked The Senate for a new law in the Kingdom, called SJR74....

If the People could get The Senate to help create this law, it would protect the Empire by making it more difficult for the 
Raging Rinos to make evil changes to a powerful document called The State Constitution, a book of Rules that protected The Empire from Raging Rinos and neighboring Vicious Vipers. These groups tormented the otherwise benevolent Trumplandia (recently rescued from an evil force known as Dog Face Pony Soldier, but that's another story). Unfortunately, The State Constitution could be easily changed and therefore easily corrupted by these Rinos. To help them fight the spells of these powerful beasts, the People called on their courageous FC to protect them. The FC had a secret hideout, far from The Senate, known as "The Parking Lot". There they would meet and prepare to do Battle, called "Fili-BLustering" with the King and Queen of The Senate. The King was a Master Fili-BLusterer and a member of a dishonest Clan known as "Ro-Dents", and the Queen belonged to a Not-Very-Bright Guild called "Oh-Laugh-Lins".  The King and the Queen also drew power from evil Warders, referred to as "Demon Crats".

The Fili-BLustering was thus enjoined. It was fought on the The Senate Floor and in its Halls. Blood was drawn, insults were hurled, not even the furniture was safe, but no quarter was given. The King and the Queen attacked the FC repeatedly, even employing their Court Jesters, called "The Media" and threatening to hold hostage the Coin of the Realm, known as "The Budget". The People rose up in anger, the King and Queen trembled in fear, and for the moment, withdrew. Though the FC was victorious, they knew the King and Queen were masters of disguise and could never be trusted to maintain peace in the Kingdon of Missouri.

Evil still lurked nearby. MEC and her fellow RINOs would continue plotting to take over The Senate, bring the goblin Lob-E-Yusts to its Halls, and never-ever pass good Laws again in the Kingdom of Missouri....and take the good parking spaces....

Will the FC be called on to again do battle? Will MEC be banished from the Kingdom? Will she be exposed as a member of the evil Demon Crats? Will she get their parking spaces? Check back to find out....

- Ledette Bo'Teece, Star Guild Reporter

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